


Last Present

by PerahuKertas



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I'm crying, M/M, Mark is a brat, a lot of recording, but ANGST, video fic/?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 23:29:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16005554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerahuKertas/pseuds/PerahuKertas
Summary: Donghyuck always tell Mark how much he loves him. Everytime, everywhere, in every way.Mark never aware, Mark never say it back, Mark never knew, that he will lost it all. And when he realize it, it's already too late.





	Last Present

Mark held tightly a tape recorder on his hand, he doesn't want to do this, again. The tape felt heavy in his hand, there's a massive load weights his heart as he look down at the tape again. It's too hurt to even look at it now, how much Mark has suffered just with keep it alone with him. It's suffocating, he'd love to hurt his head and wake up with amnesia when the next morning he wakes up and forgets everything, but it never happened. Like it knew, Mark deserves it, Mark deserves to be punished with this haunted him everywhere he goes. If feels like thick air envelopes him, suffocates him, like a thorn blanket around him, make him choked because his own tears, makes him curled on the cold floor when the guilt is too unbearable to fight. But nothing will changed, no matter how much he wants it, no matter how bad he wants to go back in time to fix every of his mistake but it will never let him. It'd be just killing him softly with his remained sanity and sufferings.  
.  
.  
.

1\. I love you, dork  
"ANYEONGHASEYO-----" Donghyuck said loudly as he bowed in front of the camera with a massive grin on his face, there's a soft laugh heard at the background and the camera is shaking a little. 

"Hello, pumpkin." the tan skinned boy waved cheerfully, Mark think it must be in his room by looking at the wall paints and the decoration. 

"I decide to make this kind of thing Jaemin told me to, yeah, um what's that called again?" his gaze is move somewhere and he looks like he mouthed something to someone, who must be Jaemin judging from the sound of his laugh. 

"Oh! Daily recording! I decide to record my daily dose of love for you, so if you ever want to see it again, or you missed me. You can just play this video." the boy said as he making a love sign with his finger, Jaemin made a cringing sound. 

"I love you so much, pumpkin. Don't worry to take care of yourself, I know you're all ambitious to go to your dream uni. But remember! Health is come first." Mark can see a light hue of red appeared on Donghyuck's cheeks. 

"And uh, always remember! When it's get too much, I will always there for you, just call me anytime, I'll get to you soon. Okay darl?" 

He stopped talking for a while when Jaemin apparently whispered something to him, he looks so cute with that expression all focus on Jaemin and mouth slightly ajar. And then his eyes fix to his left as if he's thinking. Like what he always did when he thinking for real. 

"I can't believe this, you're not even here but you're driving me crazy here you bastard." Donghyuck pouted and hold the camera with both of his hands. 

"I love you Mark, so so much." then the younger kissed the camera and the video ended with a thud. Mark chuckled lightly, stupid cheesy Donghyuck. He must be learned it from Jaemin.  
.  
.  
.

2\. I love you and I always do  
The video started with a loud noise at the background but the screen appeared black, and shaky. It soon changes into the clip of annoyed Donghyuck with his messy appearance. 

"God! This is so frustating," he said desperatedly as he smoothen his wrinkled hoodie. 

"Renjun-hyung just choked me because I accidentally brought his notebook, instead of mine." he said as he throw a dagger stare in front of him, before he just sighs and smiled widely again. 

"He even read what I wrote on that book but no worries, they're all about you." he pressed his lips together like he's hiding a secret but then he brush it off.

"Oh, Mark. I write a song about you, Jaemin planned to make the note of it with his guitar and I'll sing it. You'd love it so much." he said as he show a red notebook in front of the camera and slightly open it before close it again. 

"Aish, I can show it to you now. It'll be a spoiler. You're gonna wait me for it right? Wait for it ok." the younger boy gave his widest smile, but Mark's smile faded slowly when he saw that, something clenched his heart. 

"I love you Mark, I don't even know why and when it's started but what I know for now I just love you so much it hurts, here." he placed one of his hands on his left chest. 

"I don't know if you do too..." his dark irises look slightly dull as he said this, 

"But though you never say that, I know you love me back? Right? Once, you take care of me when I was super sick at that time. You really care for me." he gazed meaningfully as he cups his own cheeks. 

"That's when I realized I love you, and maybe... You love me. You even kissed my forehead when you thought I was sleeping, but I didn't. And you made a promise..." his whole expression is now saddened, Donghyuck pointed at the screen with his finger. 

"I promise, I won't hurt you...." 

Mark's throat suddenly feels so dry. 

"But you did, Mark. You broke your promise." his voice is barely audible but Mark still can hear it. He looks so broken. 

"Ah! But it's okay, it's always be a little part in relationship right?" he tried to cheer up himself even sent flying kiss, but Mark knows the glint in his eyes. And he ended the video because he knows he wouldn't able to fight back his streaming tears.  
.  
.  
.

3\. I love food but I love you more

"Stop filming you little shit! I'm eating right now." the video is stopped for a while and it's continued. 

Now Donghyuck is free from any ice cream he was eating earlier. "Sorry pumpkin, it was Jisung. He decides to come over and annoys the shit out of me." Donghyuck rolled his eyes at the person held his camera, and turn back to recording. 

"So yeah, he found out about my daily recording and decides to black mail me if he can't join to record my daily recording. What a sly little kid."

Donghyuck ranted but finally manage a smile as bright as sun again. "Ah. Anyway? Have you eaten well today? You must do Mark, you looks so thinner nowadays." 

"I know the final exam is near, but take care of yourself, remember? You wouldn't be able to study if you're sick." Donghyuck sounded sad and that was obvious. 

"And, I recommended you to treat yourself with ice cream, ok darling? It'll brighten your mood a lot." he said as he looks like struggle to breath. 

"Mark, these days. I can't sleep peacefully because of you in my mind, what are you up to these days? Are you in pain? How do I undo it, Mark?" 

Mark stared at the screen, there's something warm and wet pricking his eyes. 

"When I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, I fall apart Mark. It's hard to breathe when you're not beside me." Donghyuck shook his head and gave a weak smile.

"Love, if I can't be in your side anymore. Just eat ice cream okay? It'll remind me of you. Ahh--- and remember the song I talked about the other day? We had recorded it! I have send it to your email, I hope you like it pumpkin." Donghyuck made the sign of love again. 

But the truth was, Mark never knew there's an email of the clip in his email, he never opened it. He never listened to the song even until now. 

"Okay buttercup, the time is running out now. Bye-bye~~ until next time." he gave the screen a peck before the black screen appeared again.

.  
.  
.  
4\. I love you. But it's ok to love yourself more.

"Mark," the video started with Donghyuck's soft voice. The camera is stable means he put it somewhere on his table and no one records it for him. He smiled a little as he waved. Though his eyes looks tired. 

"Hello, pumpkin. How are you? I hope you're doing well, we really can't meet each other these days huh? You're that busy." he hummed and not tries to hide the disappointment in his voice. 

"How was the song, is it good? I'll have you know that I stay up almost every night to pour out my feelings into a song for you." the boy playing with his fingers, looks concerned. 

"I really miss you Mark..." he sighed softly. 

"Our time together is lessening and you--- you just---" he didn't continue himself, instead. He shook his head and forced a smile. 

"It'll be my ego if I ask you to stay by my side right? You have your own life to live, we have our own ways. I know it'll be impossible but that's, it's a truth untold. I want that, I want to be with you, I want you Mark." the gloom in his face is real when he blurted this out. 

"I know, you don't need me too much anymore right? You have better companions now, Mark." 

"When will you go overseas? Why didn't you tell me anything about that?" Donghyuck look all serious, his face is filled with sadness, and somehow anger.

"I want to remember how it feels to hold you close when you're gone, I'm dying to meet you but nowadays, you pretend like I don't even exist..." he choke a sobs and busy wiping his wet and glazed eyes at the same time reaching the camera to turn it off.  
.  
.  
.

5\. I love you, please say you love me back 

"My buttercup..." Donghyuck's face looks pale in this clip, Mark noticed that. He smiled bitterly and waved unwillingly. 

"I'm glad you make it into top ten, that means you will be accepted in your dream uni right? Don't worry, I know you're smart." he coughed, and the camera is shaking a little. 

"I was going to your home last night but Johnny said you wasn't home, where were you? I gave you something and I give it to Johnny, do you like my present? It's to congratulate you for being my smart boy." Donghyuck smiles again, a sincere one after a while. 

Mark glanced at the box that now dusty in the corner of his room, he never opened it. "It'll help you in the uni, yeah? To remind you of me too." he coughing again, now he looked struggled to breathe and he covered his mouth with both of his hands. 

"Mark, do you think you can come over tonight? We throw a party for your graduation, it was Jaemin's and Jeno's idea but I mostly who managed it." the boy said again, voice full of hope. "Call me darl,"  
.  
.  
.

That day, Mark didn't go to the party. He was too exhausted with all the party that held by his fellow seniors he didn't noticed the text Donghyuck sent him, he didn't even make a call. He slept that night like nothing ever happened, beside. Two weeks later he has to go to the airport for leaving his country, no time for him to play around again. Donghyuck and his friends waiting for him all night, hoping Mark would come but the boy never did.  
.  
.  
.  
6\. I miss you, hold me just one more time

“Hello Mark,” Donghyuck never started his video without calling pet names to Mark. But on this one, he did. And he wore a beret, to cover his hair. Mark knew it, right after Jaemin tell everything to him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t accompany you to go to the airport, I was going somewhere, and you didn’t tell me you’re leaving.” he looks down, tried to hides his glazed eyes.

“I—I’ll miss you so much, Mark. If what we had was real… How could you be fine Mark? I’m not fine at all.” Donghyuck finally poured out his bottled feelings, 

“I just wanted to hold your hand last time, and remember how it feels… Because…” he fell in silent, he has no words to say.

“This is my last Mark, I’ll ask one favor from you for the last time.” the boy held the camera so it record his face closely.

“Please love, lives happily. I want you to come back to me one day and tell me you’re happy, even though I’m not in your side anymore. Remember when the first time you told me you want to sat on my side? I’ve told you that you’ll find it a little bit lonely on my side.”

Mark laughs a bit but a tear flowing on his cheek, “Your side was always been lonely,”

“We’ll meet again, but until then. Please take care, love.”  
.  
.  
.  
7\. I will always love you, forever

They didn’t meet again, not in this world.

The last clip Donghyuck sent him is when Mark already in another country, and he opened all of it a week after. It’s him on the hospital, surrounded by Jaemin, Jeno, Renjun, and Jisung. They helped the boy to record his daily love for the last time, although it’s already so hard to breathe and speak, although almost all of his hair is now loss, although he knew the time he has is not much, he still, wants to give Mark his daily love.

Donghyuck has given so much, yet ask so little. But even that, Mark never and would never be able to fulfill them.

The white lily he held now is even the first flower he has ever give to Donghyuck, that’s right what they said. Regret is bigger than gratitude.

Mark never cried because of Donghyuck before this, but this time he did, and it stains the tombstone he holds on.

4 years ago, he should’ve known. He should’ve loved Donghyuck like Donghyuck did to him.

Mark never knew, he never realized. That he loved Donghyuck so much until everything is too late.

**Author's Note:**

> ayyy fam i did it again, i hurt my sonnn huhu am sorry i didnt mean to kill him ;;;;


End file.
